from the rocks i cried, to the sky i learn to fly. ♥

Sunday 31 May 2009 { 5/31/2009 08:14:00 pm }

Yeah.. lately I have this health problems. So I've had low-blood pressure for years.. and lately (actually this isn't the first time either) it becoming worse, for a moment. The bad things are:

1. I can't run too much, even walking too much makes me out of breath. That IS bad. I love running! But now it seems I can't run, also swim at the moment cuz of not having enough energy to do so. I wonder when will my stamina be back.

2. I often get kind of spinninglike-somehow-headache. Don't ask, cuz I don't know why either. Too much sleep and lack of exercise, as my mom told me. Well, maybe?

3. I don't know if this is related to low-blood pressure or not.. but my body, especially shoulders, legs, and arms are easily to get tired till pain.. ache we might say.. For example, I played boxing today till 3 rounds only in Timezone, and in minutes my right thigh felt pain whenever I walk.. In the same time my right hand felt exhausted.. awh man.. just for several minutes and exhausted already?? What a pity!!

Instead of my health problems, today I bought new DVDs =). I bought Bleach Episode 212-221 and Law of Ueki 1-70 (end). Love them. I haven't watch Law of Ueki though. I'll save it for later..

Lately I'm trying to sleep earlier. Cuz of my habit, that is sleeping late, I have these health problems now. Usually I draw things till late midnight. At the moment, I'm learning to draw Bleach characters. Love drawing very much~ In my observation, illustrators are having their own style in drawing. That's what I've been trying to learn about. I want to be a great illustrator afterall. And Kobe Tite's (Bleach Mangaka) drawing style is unique~ Especially for my Hitsugaya Toushiro-kun ehehehe <3. Kawaiiiii!! It is like.. he (Kobe Tite) can make cute little boys and girls characters and also manly handsome and pretty adult characters. And it is not easy to draw for me. Now I feel like I can't even draw properly. For a good illustrator, usually drafts are already makin' shape.. Not mine. Sob. Well, I'm in process to do so..

(now I wonder if it is because my pencil is not good enough.. Or maybe it IS just because I'm not good enough in drawing?)

As now I've had plenty of free times.. *glad* I've listed (too) many plans for this holiday *excited*

One of them is learning codes. I would like to learn CSS, html, and javascript. First, I want to remodel this very blog of my own. I want to add java scripts things.. and also with touch of art, it would be marvelous.. Khekhekhekhekhe~ html also is important. If I manage to remodel this blog and satisfied, then I would try for a site. Gyehehehe. Hm.. I'll use that site for bussiness though.

pinnapl3.com

splendid. And I also want to have a studio with Lydia and Pauline. For a studio, I think I'll need just a smal place. Not too big is okay. As long as it is able to be worked inside, sleep sometimes.. play, a small fridge for food.. yeah.. our own 'office' (In my mind I'm imagining it would be as big as Lydia's garage). I'm imagining my highschool year would be very productive. Maybe. If my plans are goin smooooothly.. Hope so.. =)

Labels: codes, drawing, friends, personal

Monday 25 May 2009 { 5/25/2009 07:30:00 pm }

It has been tough. As I've sleep above 12 a.m for 2 days with a not fit body.. It was exhausting.. =.=.. Now my artwork has done and has been submited at deviantart. Check it here.

But, more things made me frustated!! What else if not dummy internet connection of my LOVELY INDONESIA???? ARGH!! DUMMYY!!!!!

sob sob..

Well, finally.. I'm back to life. Even I need days to recover, to be a real nanas as a human-being (not a fruit duh!)

Labels: competition

Wednesday 20 May 2009 { 5/20/2009 10:38:00 pm }

heya, I've just back from farewell camp. The camp was fun. Really.
The most fun part is that I can have pictures of unique sleeping style photos. Lol. But I captured them with my friends' cameras, so.. to have those photos to my computer I should wait for my friends to tag the photos online at facebook =p

Another thing from camp is, that 90% of Gloria JHS' 9th grade is actually soft inside. There was one session that all, including boys, and male teachers, cried a lot. Owh man.. yeah.. at first I thought, there's no need to cry cuz we'll still able to contact everybody by technologies the world've made. And also that.. life is movin on.. people come and leave. So.. this thing didn't affect me.. but not at all. I was touched when I hugged the teachers as they cried a lot. Then.. no tears. I'm not the type of person who like to waste off my tears anyway. My tears are still usefull for my eyes. I ain't gonna waste my tears for no reason man.. and hate being fake even all this time I've being a fake. But I don't want to playin with feelings..

And I also performed ==".. But the performance was embarassing. I lost my face that second.. So I played duo with Yona, which was a guitar pro.. and he used accoustic-electric guitar while I used accoustic guitar. It looked like I was just showing that I can play guitar ==", cuz my guitar sound as I sure that won't reach the back seats. I had no face.. no face.. Till I wondered maybe I am too kind and too easy to be used by. Dummy me. Dummy nanas. *sob*

Tonight I also wondered.. maybe I am too cold to my friends. I can't share shoulders like they do. I can't fully trust them. I also wondered if I am worthed to beloved like that...

I am maybe too cold.. but that's me. That's the way I live. I don't hug except I'm forced to..

There is a law of take and give. I might give them hugs, but I don't need hugs. I prefer to live my life independently. It more comfortable for me..

Labels: personal, school life, stupid

Sunday 17 May 2009 { 5/17/2009 02:42:00 pm }

So, today, as usual I went to church.. and also as usual, I was late =p. This morning me and wallmaX crew gave Heaven--my friend at church, a gift. And it was a replica of Hitsugaya Toushiro, her and my favourite character in Bleach =)

And then I went to PTC to buy my needs for tomorrow's farewell camp and directly went home. At home I did my homeworks such as washing my clothes when suddenly, my uncle came... At first I wasn't concerned, cuz I thought maybe He got some business here, till I heard my lil sis said: "CEE! Komputernya mau digantii!!" (means: "Sis!! The computer would be changed by!!")

aa.. and that concerned me.

My house's computer= my life. Cuz I got maaaaaaany important documents there. If all of my documents sumed, it will have about 3 gigabytes. Or 4. (Most of them are pictures and images, also notes. Heheh. But they ARE important) So I immediately came into computer room and see what's goin on.. and...

well, I've wished once if I could get laptops or any computer and gadget goodies from any lottery. But I've never imagine to get a new flat LCD from my uncle.

IT WAS NEW! IT GOT A BOX.. bow wow..

What the heck is goin on.. OMG. It is very rare for any of my relatives to give me that expensive kind of thing. Once again, I wondered.. is this my lucky day? =)

perhaps.

Then, I continued my works. That today I have to wash my clothes, draw chibis for P.E practical assignment, and I want to finish up my scrap for the competition. Then, another thing I found.

As the LCD is being changed by a flat one, the CPU and other devices must be moved for safety sake. So the adaptor and the CPU place is switched. But, the problem is.. that makes the USB driver isn't easy to reach. So I search for a multi-USB driver in my papa's office, and I found... A WEBCAM. Oho, so all this time my pops is having a webcam??!

note this: there's an advantage of having a lavish pops ^^ << is it true lavish? in Indonesian it's called 'boros'

Labels: family, friends, unique

Friday 15 May 2009 { 5/15/2009 10:02:00 pm }

ARGH!! Feel like I'm gonna explode!! For several days I've been stucked in my own house!! I mean... no online, no money, no phone charge.. I'M HAVING DIFFICULTIES TO CONTACT ANYONE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!!

However, my school final exam is done. I'm not 100% sure bout the scores, but.. I'm relieved. At least now I don't have to study and study, and also that I'll have more time to prepare for character design competition.

Btw, last wednesday, I went to an internet cafe to check my dA and Ymail. Then I read an offline message from my clan leader, said: jacket design competition
and this is UNUSUAL. U see.. my clan currently is just a virtual clan which means that I've never meet any of them (eventhough I might will meet one of them later in highschool. He'll enter the same highschool as mine T.T). And, by having those jackets alive, it means that this virtual clan will become a real-life community? Hmph..

And those jackets will be sent to our own houses and ..... *fainted*
hyper mode on, believe me.. I'm still half-concious O.O~

For ur information, I was already thinking of abandoning the clan months ago. Why? Cuz I thought I wanted to have a healthy social-life (and in fact, not so healthy rite now =="), also that I thought, having an online-only clan would waste my time and money.. Cuz by being online for my clan it means I've got things I have to do for clan (I'm an active member there, and once became a leader of a squad), and the most important thing is that being with my clan, was more fun than being with my friends in real-life, sometimes. Especially that... (hate to tell this, but..) I have an (embarassing) weakness that is related to boys.. ==".. which is being the reason why I don't have any boys as friend in my school except Jesse (but he is a girly boy, love fashion designing with sexy outfits ==").. Yeah, somehow I can't be friendly to boys. It has been my habit since I was elementary school, since the first time I knew 'crush'. All this time I've always wanted to blame that ugly-proudy boy but, I also know that blaming= useless, and I wont have this 'weakness' if I don't makin it as a problem and react different.

Rite now, I really need somebody outside to talked to..

wishes:
-my phone refilled NOW w/ o delay >.<
-the facebook works
-my ebuddy works
-comic paper and 2H pencil fall to my lap
-a benQ or hp or even MacBook fall to my bed (heheh. It would be hurt if the fall to my lap XD)
-money rain
-a sane mind @.@

Ho yea, I remember about my friends' requests. OMG, I haven't finish any of both requests!! My target is this farewell camp (18-20 May). The design has no prob. I can work them up to morning (a bit insomnia+workaholic= insane. it is not healthy. seriously. actually I've recovered from insomnia. heheh), but the problem is...... the printing time. To print them I have to go to printing service, which actually is near my house, but it's open till 4 p.m only, that lately, I'm afraid I don't have enough time to fo that. First, it is all because of economic problem. My mom is currently out of money. She owed me 600k rupiahs. Second, my mom wont have time to pick me up to places I've got to visit. That is the cause why I often stucked at home with no internet except using my mom's dummy IM2. IM2, YOU ARE DUMMY DUMMY!! *get a hold of myself not to curse*.... another problem we have ladies and gentlemen~ =="

I guess I'll have to list all I must do these weeks. Soon.

Gonna check raditya dika's blog. Ja ne.

PS: *as if Lodi would read this blog XP. hope not.* sorry for not replying ur text msg. I'm currently out of phone charge or whatever it called in english. Gomenasaii to all including Huey-nii san. Heheh.

Labels: clan, competition, personal, school life, stupid

Monday 11 May 2009 { 5/11/2009 09:16:00 pm }

Yeah, I'm in love.. haha. With who you may ask? With my new drawing tablet!! XD
So.. today I bought a new drawing tablet, and I am in process of learning how to use it.. heheh. Plus, the driver CD got Corel Paint X free trial. It was awesome (Corel Paint X). It has a colour mixer and types of brushes, special or painting digitally XD. Love it~

Up to this day, I'm still in final exam week. Not the UNAS. But school's. School's exam is quite easier than UNAS. Eventhough, I still have to study a night before to get good marks ==".. I wish I can learn and experimenting with my new drawing tablet more~ *sob*

Anyway, today, fortunately.. my mom allowed me to download some songs :). As you see, she has forbiden me to be online for this exam week.. T.T..

these are the songs:

Better Man - Robbie Williams
You can - David Archuletta

Somehow lately I enjoy slow songs.. Haha.. But they are worth to listened.

Post soon.
Ja ne and wismilak~ ^^

Labels: drawing, music, school life

Friday 1 May 2009 { 5/01/2009 09:24:00 pm }

so.. this weekend.. is a gloomy weekend for me.. once again. So, since last weekend Bella, who was my close friend, made my flashdisk missed. I know from the beginning that she is totally careless.. but as a good friend, I lent her my flashdisk and I've told her to give my flashdisk back that day, sharp. But she forgot, and neither I. But I have many things to do! My time isn't only for concerning my flashdisk!! She should be rensponsible of it!!! Yeah, and in the next Monday, with puppy face she told me: "Nass, your flashdisk is missing! I couldn't find it anywhere!!" WTF?? Until now, I don't speak to her again. She thinks that my property is not important! If she thinks that it is important then she wouldn't miss it that easy. Almost all of my friends know that I'm not the type of person who easily lent my flashdisk..
Evenmore, when I came home last Thursday, I found my guitar had one of it's string broke.. Ohh man... Maybe now is my time to be on the bottom side of the life-wheel..

Today, I'm tired. Really tired. But I can't sleep. Yeah, sleeping seems like wasting time for me.. Workaholic you say? I'm not sure.. Haha..

So this morning I walked around 6km with Lydia and Pauline. Our destination was Rovina's house. Haha. It was fun, but exhausting. I think I'm gonna getting a flu.. Or maybe right now I'm having a flu... ==a

Hoa yeah.. about my final exam.. Now I feel like, the most important is that I pass. Now I'm not hoping for great marks. I'm not sure with my science. I'm afraid its marks wont pass the average score.. Maybe you would say that I'm so pessimistic.. Yes I am now. And? I don't know.. I hope this would not last for any longer. Me myself don't like myself now that now I'm so down, yeah.. pessimistic I say.. Like everything's ends are pointed to blame me.. Now I don't understand which is wrong and which is rite.. and which is human..

I'm confuse.. Once again, it's like I don't want to do anything.. Actually I want to buy "Yes Man"--Jim Carrey dvd. I really want to watch it. Interesting. But it seems I can't because tomorrow will be a busy day for me.. Janet's grandma died a while ago.. Tomorrow I'll come to the ceremony with Lydia and Pauline.. It's a must as a good friend of her.. And 5 p.m, I'll attend my friend's band competition. It will be her last performance before she fly to Singapore... It must be important lah! Is it that I don't hav time for myself? Well, what I call a time for myself is when I can watch dvd I want to watch, play guitar, exeperimenting with photoshop, drawing sketchs, being online and chat, and play games. But I can't do them rite now... Why? First, economy condition of my family. Dad always like groaning of it. Second, don't know why, when I'm free and have time to chat and so on.. my friends aren't online.. And I don't want to interrupt them with my gloomy aura..

About online.. I don't know if having online friends is normal.. Is it? Except you have foreign country friend. Like HoQ's--one of my friends--condition. She has maaany boy friends. And there she is.. unhappy. Umm, many boys of her 'friends' are making her as a toy. And, I don't want that happen to me. Ever. So, I want to prevent it.. but it seems like my way to prevent isn't right. And, I wonder if having online friends can make us rather unsocialable.. You see.. when online friends seems more than your real friends.

I am in confuse..

Labels: friends, personal, school life, unique