Saturday, 12 September 2009
{ 9/12/2009 08:16:00 pm }
Heya, it has been a very long time for me.. not to write again (what kind of blogger am I eh?). Now it has been about 2 months of highschool life, but I've missed JHS already..
I've just gone back from LDKS (which is a leadership training camp, that the participants are the chosen ones from classes. In my class, there were only 5 people chosen, including me, and we were chosen because of our above-class-average scores) and I was labeled as 'the quiet one' there. Yeap.. I didn't give much opinion there. I participated in my group, but my teammates are kinda ignoring my ideas, and focus only on their ideas, and that in those 3 days I was idea-less.. or blank. There was once, a reflection hours, led by facilitator of our group.. and her words were cornering me.. indirectly (I'm hurt for honest). Also in testimonial times what I got were that 3 of my teammates said "Don't just be quiet all the time. Talk", or "Shout ur opinion, don't be shy"..
Well, how to "shout out" my opinion when I've got no opinion or comment for any of the sessions?
Lately I often think much much longer before I decide on anything or do anything. I avoid mistakes. I felt like fish out of water within those 3 days. I told my close-classmate and she said, "How come you became a quiet girl that you usually are a loud, cheerful person??" I don't know either.. And now I have no interest to connect with my teammates..
After LDKS sumtimes I wonder, is it because my school is a quite-elite school, that for going out to mall a day would spent 50thousand rupiahs for minimum. That makes me rather rare to hang out with other not-close friends (my close-friends know about my economy condition)
Also lately I suffer from talking unclearly, sometimes babbling, and often wandering away (a state of not focus that makes us don't understand what is happening or what other are talking bout to us. kind of a half unconcious) Hey, what happened to me?
Labels: personal, school life
