Sunday, 20 December 2009
{ 12/20/2009 01:27:00 pm }
Well, so I got this from my weekly bulletin from my church, and I found it good, so now I'm gonna share this.. and be grateful that I'm able to translate this from it's original language: Indonesian XP. Here we go..
Have we ever noticed, that there is a man, or woman whose appearance is just simple as it is but seems so attractive? On the contrary, there is a woman which appear so glamour, pretty, wrapped by expensive gown and accessories but somehow has no appeal?
In fact, there is no ugly man or woman in this world. Each person are created unique and perfect by God. What exist are people who let their beauty buried, that makes it unable to shine. By building a positive image, then buried beauty would emerge and develop. Physical beauty would attract our attention but beauty of a character wins our heart.
Once there was a famous businessman who was graduated from Harvard University in an interview, and asked, "What do you think a beautiful woman is?" and he answered, "Beauty isn't just about physical appearance. There are women who are very pretty but after we talk with her about 5 minutes, we start to have no idea of what else to be talked about." This proves that beauty isn't only about physical appearance but also needs to be supported by inner beauty.
Generally, everyone tends to be attracted by people who have a positive self-image. Instead of wide knowledge, attractive personality become the key for inner beauty to emerge--a charm in a person through a positive self-image. People prefer being around somebody who has positive attitude. This is the real source personal appeal--that usually called as a charisma--be formed; something that is hard to explained by words but have a real effect. People are attracted to a person who has charisma, and follow him.
Then how to build a positive self-image so we are able to be a personal with charisma and appeal?
1. Love yourself
It seems that the statement above is very selfish but as the matter of fact, only people who can love themselves, are able to love other. Only people who can accept themselves with all of their strengths and weaknesses, can accept other the way they are. This thing is the one which makes us able to have a positive self-image. Everybody love being close to people who can accept themselves as they are. This become one of the keys to be an interesting personal :)
2. Self-talk
Aware or not, we talk to ourselves more than we speak to other. We even often being too harsh to ourselves. When we make mistakes, we would say, "Yes, I am a loser." that generate low self-esteem, insecure feeling and assume ourselves don't have any future for just a simple mistake. Instead we should have said, "I made mistake, but I learn from it and able to fix / avoid the same mistake in the future." This sentence would make us feel better. Correct sentence we have, can build the right self-image, so we have to be careful of what we say to ourselves. We have to learn admitting ourselves as we are, and forgive our own mistakes.
3. Give appreciation
Where do we able to know that we have a negative mindset? From our feelings! If we feel depressed, failing, sad, angry, or afraid, those are signs that we have already having a negative mindset. Immediately turn those negative thoughts to positive ones. How? By taking a note of good things we have, achievements we had achieved, good things we have done, then we'll feel much better. Give an appreciation to our achievements then we'll be more enthusiastic to face our life and our future. Do you know that enthusiastic personals always have being interesting to other? Benjamin Franklin always do this because he believes that this habit can regularly make him grow and develop more enthusiastically.
4. Set Goal
Only people who have target(s) to be achieved who are passionate, facing this life. When we have target(s) and willingly work for it/them, then we'll have confidence grow in ourselves. Without target we'll have our life seems stagnant, we'll lose our confidence and life would be boring. By goal-setting making exciting experience would leave us feeling precious. Only people who have target(s) attract other. Sometimes there are people who hate seeing rich and success person enter the church and got more attention. They say that the person gets more attention because he is rich and success. It's true, but actually naturally each of us attracted to people who are success from our point of view.
5. Relax
People who get panic easily of course aren't attractive to other that problems and fears are parts of life that can't be refused. It's human to be nervous and worry things but we have to accept and face them wisely. Sometimes there are problems which make us cornered that we see no possible solution that then we leave them and by the day goes by, usually there would be cracks that lead us to the solution. Letting ourselves being drowned in fear would make us appear messy and become not an attractive person at all. We strict ourselves that we have to be wise to change what can be changed, and accept what can't be changed. People who are calm and have positive mindset with hope are always attractive to other even when they are in a big trouble. Only mature people who are able to do that.
6. Talk with confidence
When we are being ourselves we would be able to talk confidently. Never try to imitate other, no matter how cool they are. Try to talk with other about things they know about. If we talk to businessmen then talk about business. If we talk to athlete then talk about sport. This would make us seem to have an interesting personality. Give a lot of questions so other can tell you more. Basically, everyone love to be listened so their emotional need to feel 'important' fulfilled. When we are not sure what they are talking about or have no idea about the topic that is being discussed, do not hesitate to ask. An interesting thing that other respect us when we ask than when we pretend as we know everything. People would be glad to explain because that makes them feel 'important'. That's why people are happy to explain when they're asked by, even a stranger, about directions.
7. Be a good listener
People are attracted to us when we are able to be a good listener. Dale Carnegie said that one day he listened to somebody who talked about hours and when he finished that person told his friend that Dale is 'a good speaker'. A colleague who appeared simple made many men fell in love with her. The fact was that her male friends was attracted because she listens with empathy and she know exactly when to ask and give her opinion. She also is a wise woman that all her male and female friends enjoy to hang out with her and feel respected.
The "self-image" is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior. (Maxwell Maltz)
By learning to do those steps above then we'll grow to be a person with a joyful, strong, self-image :)
And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever. (Daniel 12:3)
Labels: tips
